I Wish..... In Vain....!!

A Wish

how i wish,
how i wish u were here.....

I lie on the ground,
and stare into space,
the stars start to move,
make the shape of your face.

I miss ur touch ,
and ur intoxicating kiss,
In a sea of desperation,
an islet of bliss.

and yet again my love,
ur here in my dreams,
makin me pine for you,
teasing me ,it seems,

You say "close your eyes",
"tell me what you see",
I see only two people,
just you and me.

We're walking the shoreline,
angelic feet on wet sand,
sendin shivers up my body,
at the touch of ur hand.

We make love through the night,
on that white sandy shore,
then I hold you thinking,
I could want nothing more.

and that is when i realize,
what it means to be in love,

i can live through hell,
for a million years,
just for that one kiss,
just for one touch of yours.
and then when im finally with u,
i know,one will just never do....

Oh I wish I could be,
in that one special place,
as I lie on the ground,
and I stare into space...

how i wish ,
how i wish u were here.....

I come to mock caesar,not to praise him..!!!

Valfi season in IIT again....

for the uninitiated valfi is iitian for Valedictory Function....where we celebrate the graduation (or what should have been their ideal graduation time) of a few painu seniors and wish them the senti farewell they feel they deserve....

Honestly I dont know of any other custom that is more meaningful and profound yet as fun and lukha as this one....

I mean the endsems are like a week away and we are dwelling on prehistoric exploits of person after person for nights on end....the 4th years apparently have no interest in their last exam in iit but seemingly a lot of sophies n thirdies dont mind the endsems either...

But the valfies are more than just a party,more than just food and drink,most than even teary farewells sometimes....

For a lot of btechs their graduation is their confessional....minus the religious apparatus.you are surrounded by all those people who have been like your family for the past 3 or 4 years and a lot of acquaintances and many you have never known in your life....and yet there it is...your life,your interests,your quirks,your peeves,your despogiri everything deconstructed and documented by your closest few.... and save for a few spoilsports,in the end its all a big laugh.If you have to part i couldnt have thought of a better parting thought,than to make someone lay themselves bare and make them feel good about it.In fact just the act of letting your true feelings be known to an anonymous crowd is such a incredibly powerful experience.

Im still only a sophie....but I think....that a valfi can leave you happy to be alive, and glad to be you.Glad that even the stupidest little things you did made a lot of people laugh today....and that you will be remembered....

Dumb thing to say but i await my valfi with rabid anticipation....I only hope i make a lot of people happy....and/or some people very very happy.... :)

Blinded By The Blog!!!

I came a whisker close to suicide yesterday.Whisker....

I dont know why i started writing this blog.It was not to escape reality.It was not an antisocial expression.It was not a desperate outlet.
It was a happy thing.
And now that's what it has become.a delusional outlet,a schizophrenic alter ego,an imaginary friend....
I'm afraid I'm becoming very very antisocial.i would rather blog about all the shit in my life than tell a friend about it.And this bloody blog is public.

I mean,i would rather tell any arbit asshole,who doesn't give a fuck about me,stuff about me than my closest friends....
None of my friends family or anyone knows....now YOU do.

I came a whisker close to a suicide yesterday.