Maid - En - India

I R O N M A I D E N
was here........

in india....

bangaluru....

IRON MAIDEN was here....
and i was there.....

in the front row.....

March 17 2007 shall in the days yet to come be heralded by the future....as the day....
when heavy metal came to India.
Heavy metal as it is supposed to be played....

Our country is finally going to be truly educated.

Finding Neverland!!!!

On top of the world.....I was.....not too long ago.....not much too long ago......

I've been through a lot of ups and down in my short sample of a life,just bout 20 years of it,more so than a lot of people i know....BUT....never,Never has fate taken me so high up and then thrown me back down with such vehemence....

In my own self contained realm i thought i had everything....all the power i could handle,all the love i could bathe in,all the respect i needed to be happy....
"Human beings define their reality through misery and suffering.
The perfect world was a dream that their primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from."

I woke up.
To failure.
In every sense of the word.
Total collapse.
Reduced to rubble all the efforts.Efforts dating back 7 years ago.Seeds of a resplendent future sowed way back....since 9th grade.In a life of 20 years, 7 of the approx 15 years i have a memory of is a lot of time....
Every thing that I counted on.

In many ways I believe,total collapse is better for you in the long run than strings of smaller failures.It lets you start from ground zero instead of trying to salvage a faulty foundation with an ailing scaffold of determination.

I'm like this huge Matrix buff....like i know every dialogue ever spoken in all 3 movies types.And the philosophy of these movies made a huge impact on me.

I've always believed in purpose,that I'm here for a purpose i must fulfil to realise my destiny.And somewhere in the whole rigmarole of being so young and high,I actually thought I had found my purpose.I actually thought I knew how my life was gonna work out.At 20 years I really honestly believed I had my whole life thought up in my head,and give and take minor details.....I had it all worked out.There was this person in my life who gave me that feeling.Made me feel on top of the world.Made me feel I had it all.
Now that person is gone.Along with a lot of other things that used to make me wake up every morning feeling it was good to be me.I seem to have lost my purpose.5 years down the line.....I don't see myself.And I don't know where to look either.

Then I turned to my philosophical mentor again.The Matrix.
Kinda frivolous I know but hey,I'm young and hopeless.What did you expect?
And I'm kinda OK now.
I really am.
I still have no idea what I'm gonna do with my life.
I'm still not over my past.Heartaches of a ruthless kind.
If my life walked right back up to me and gave me a choice,I would still undoubtedly wanna go back.Its not like I'm better off now or some other self-delusional crap.

It's just that,I think its OK to be lost.
As long as I know and admit to myself and everyone that I'm lost,I think I'll be fine.

I'll find my way someday.....but right now I have a life to live.
And I cant spend it thinking of my lost sense of purpose.

It will find me!!

Gotta love Hangovers...???

Whoa ...!!!!!!

Head's spinning.....out of control.....

Time travel....reverse schizophrenia.....confused psychic.....incessant telepathy.....

An overwhelming sense of deja-vu.....
feels like a dream.....

"Ever had that feeling when you are not sure whether you are wake or still dreaming..."

Last when i was sane i remember when we went for this dinner treat.....moodi celebration.
I think something happened there.... I've been drunk ever since.

High on food....High on drink....
High on friends....High on rest of the bastards....
High on winning....Higher on defeat....
High on life....

I think i had too much to eat and it choked my stomach region and excess blood filled my head up..... I am literally on top of the world.....
California rest in peace.....
Sweet child in time.....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

I am invincible....
Break the world down....Fuck the system....
I am the leader of the new age alliance of the drunk disgruntled assholes who will stop at nothing to take back what they have been denied for so long....that which is rightfully theirs....that which is rightfully every one's.....

Freedom......

Freedom from misguided judgements and labels decreed by no-good supposedly wiser dunces too blind to realize they are themselves knee deep in their own smug shit....

Freedom from the necessity of choosing the purpose of our lives from the same one-size-fits-all junkyard as a billion other people....counsellors counselling conformity , teachers enforcing uniformity , society condemning the unique and the special......
An entire species trying desperately to evolve into a superhuman while they are conscious......
then dismembering every shred of existence of every prodigy born with a ruthlessness possible only in a collective unconscious......mass insomnia......
Survival of the mediocre majority.....
Long live the corrupt and the incompetent.....
The meek and the cunning shall inherit the earth....the strong and wise shall die fighting for it!!!

Freedom to be able to rant off any idiotic crap on arbitrary media that would poison minds and promote anti social tendencies,to tell the world bout one's warped analysis of their lives,millennial neurotic lives.....that is if anyone was interested in reading the meaningless worthless shit......

Freedom to....???

WAIT!!!!!!
I Already Have That.....Don't I???
Oh Yeah...!!!! Alright!!!!

Nice.....I'm sobering up.... :)
Note to myself - Don't eat so much even if its for free....
Gotta go crap now......Ciao!!!!