Showing posts with label preach. Show all posts
Showing posts with label preach. Show all posts

Monday, May 31, 2010

Sachin Tendulkar Must Die...

... a hero.

No, I don't hate Sachin. Agreed, I'v never been a crazy fan, but that was more because of how silly the game of cricket is rather than the man himself. So read the full heading, Sachin Tendulkar must die... a hero.

Sachin is awesome. Very awesome. Agreed?
Some would say, too awesome. Agreed?
I agree.
Who else do we have? We... yes, I mean we Indians. Who else have we got to idolize, to worship, to look up to...
No one.

Once upon a time, there was a kook called Bejan Daruwala. Every year this fruit predicts that India will become a global superpower. I guess he figures it is worth being wrong every year for 50 years straight than to miss the one year when it does happen... I admit that does make good business sense. But India will never be a superpower. Atleast not yet. Because we are too sensible... way too sensible.

More Indians of that generation are likely to point out a slight criticism of Mahatma Gandhi, that he allowed the partition to happen, than are Americans to point out a flaw in one of their shining gems of a role model, Saint Kurt Cobain. Now that might be because there 4 Indians for every Americans, but that's not the point I'm trying to make. Whether the partition was his error in judgment is irrelevant, if an overrated suicidal crack head can be an inspiration to people, uniting the most diverse country in the world to overthrow the greatest empire in the world without firing a single shot, should have made Gandhi untouchable. But it did not.
It only got him killed.

Why is America the most powerful nation in the world today? Right after its independence, US tried desperately to be the cool new kid on the block. But it took them a hundred years to figure out the formula, when they entered their so-called 'Age of Heroes'.
1 part blind nationalism, 1 part surreal hero worship, sprinkle in some astute publicity and mix in a  pool of corn-n-beef meathead populace and stir for a few decades... how do you like your heroes? They took their rag-tag but (usually) good hearted bunch of leaders, buried their flaws six feet under and publicized the holy fucking crap out of their achievements. Rockstars, astronauts, sportsmen, presidents, moviestars, businessmen, scientists... everyone could be a hero. And everyone was. 
The century of Einsteins and Elvises, of Jordans and Jacksons, of Neil Armstrong and Pam Anderson.
And you know what is the one thing common that all these heroes could do. Make more heroes.
And the new heroes were for real... inspired self-made heroes. Heroes that perhaps stood on shaky shoulders but through their eyes mankind saw what it was capable of accomplishing, if only for just a short  tumultuous century.

America is past its Age of Heroes. Their inspiration died with the Cold war, the remnants of the zeal of the great Age butchered and divided up by giant corporations who have now collectively reduced the American dream to Wall Street job and celebrity magazines. And this veiled hive of commercialization now threaten to wage their sponsored war on the world from their product placed boardrooms using their billboard tanks and logo army suits. War Inc., watch it, very cool movie, Imdb ratings notwithstanding.

But I don't give a shit about America. India... yes, back to India. Post Independence there was no cause no reason to be a hero anymore. Aimless we wander through our lives much like Americans, dissecting every candidate of heroism with such crushing ruthlessness that, one mistake, one misstep, one falter, brings on the modern day witchhunt... you can't judge an artist by his personality but you do anyway. Every upright politician, every talented artist, every beautiful person, crushed under the weight of a billion judgmental eyes.

Like Sachin. Surely you remember when you abused and criticized and decried Sachin every time he got out at 90+ scores, or failed to convert his century into a  team victory.
Remember? Of course you don't. Because you have the memory of a goldfish with ADD.  Because celebrity devouring is all that you learnt from America. But he didn't curl up and die like the rest of them, did he? 20 yrs ago a boy of 16 was on tv and he blew your minds away. In 10-15 yrs you forgot all the mindblasting, groundbreaking and Shoaib Akhtar/Shane Warne -smashing he treated us to and tried your best to crucify him. So what does he do? He takes a break, comes back twice as old as he was when he first made you buy a TV, and sodomizes the half empty glass that's your brain.

Sachin is right now our only legitimate hero. The kind who can convince a whole generation to drop out of school and follow their dreams. A handful of such men can start the avalanche that can make a global superpower in 50 years. Believe it, coz 11 guys on June 25, 1983, heroes who toppled Vivian's Invincible Windies, had a lot to do with creating the very hero we see today. Pay it forward, as they say.

And that's why he needs to live... and die, a hero. I wish he could stay around forever, I wish he could be inspiring, uniting, indeed mesmerizing an entire nation for all eternity. But he cant, because every Federer must eventually spawn his Nadal, and every Tiger Woods will have a scantily clad skeleton in his closet. And when that happens, their mortality will be exposed for all to see. And Indians are not as delusional as Americans to worship a mortal man. No... Sachin has survived everything we threw at him... he is the hero we needed, he must now be the God we deserve. A God who by his very existence spawns a whole generation of Indian heroes, and we shall see the pride and glory of India restored. I'm not saying it will be easy, but it can be done, so just stay with me on this one last pitch.

Sachin must win the World Cup for India.
But if he plays or indeed does anything at all after this feat, he is liable to fail, to be judged.
No, Gods dont age.

Sachin must win the World Cup for India... and die in the process.

It must be the final against either Pakistan or Australia, it must be the last over with atleast 25 runs needed to win. He must hit a couple of the most amazing sixes in history with the balls shot straight out of grounds and never found again, so that the legend, and fake replicas, of the lost sach-sixer balls live on after him and are distributed as prasad in the Sachin temples we build thereafter. He must have already been retired hurt thrice and thrice returned to play, by now with internal and external bleeding. He must limp every run and yet his bat must swing faster than the eye can see. With atleast 5 or 6 runs to win The last ball must blaze a trail of fire hurtling towards him. And our deity must nod his bat to the crowd one last time, before blasting the ball into 6 pieces all of which must fly out of the stadium. The crowd must stare in astonished silence watching every piece of the ball vanish over the horizon before erupting in a cheer, 1 billion strong. And our hero, our God, our saviour must smile weakly in satisfaction and relief. The arm would move over to reveal that the impact shattered the faithful and iconic MRF bat into pieces as well, pieces on which he now stands impaled. As the entire stadium mows down barricades and rushes onto the field towards their saviour, he would stumble and fall but he must not hit the ground... as he fades away his last image must be the whole nation lifting him up above them, where he shall remain, immortalized, pristine, absolved of the past or the future, frozen immaculate.

If life were a movie, Daruwala would finally be right someday.
But its not. We cannot expect a man to sacrifice himself for us, just to be our posthumous God.
We can always hope though...

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Where's the Mugga in the Hugga...??

Its finally time. My worst fears have collided head on with my reality.

And there's nowhere to run.

But let me rewind just a little bit for the sake of the uninitiated...

<<<<<<<<<< I exhaled loudly, bathing in the afterglow of what is probably the single most satifying act known to man.(Sex, technically, is not a 'single' act... atleast for most of us... thankfully.) As I sat there (Mcdonalds restroom in delhi, for the curious) appreciating the fact the probably mankind greatest unsung gift to himself is to prohibit instant gratification at the slightest hint of pressure, which may or may not be in public, but rather restrain himself for more private environments, thereby often forcing us to control our b'anal'ities for much longer than we would like. Yet as is said, only through fire is the steel tempered, and those brave souls who survive through this test with clean pants get their just reward. The arduous struggle, the imminent anticipation, the violent explosion, the tranquil afterglow... just reward alright. In fact it is in this most peaceful of states that I was enlightened unto the reason behind the success of man in the evolutionary ladder. Only man can claim to truly 'enjoy' the 2 most fundamental life process - reproduction, and defecation. We love to do what we must do ... fun at the workplace is the key. (Incidentally I might have also solved the mystery of the extinction of the dinosaurs... It would be so hard to either s... or f... with them big ass scaly tails in the way. And if you've got hands like the t-rex, you cant even wipe... ) Anyway back to the point, so here in a joyous moment I finally laid my eyes on it for the first time. Soft and white, it looked so pure and pristine, innocent and beautiful. Rolled up and sitting quiet and pretty. Never before had I seen anything like this 'toilet paper' as the locals called it. And I dont know why, maybe in the euphoric delusion or something, I was taken in by its beautiful promises... and I let it take advantage of me. I was violated. I felt so dirty, used, filthy... I felt like shit, even felt shit, literally. And I swore that day never to look towards the paper again... >>>>>>>>>>

Until now.
Now I have no other choice.

I cannot run. I cannot look for Indian relatives in these foreign lands who can shelter me from the tyranny of the soft-spoken yet cold-hearted toilet paper and keep me in safe (and watered) territory. There's no one I can turn to for they will only ridicule me, and laugh at me. For these poor souls were born into this bondage... their minds shrouded by paper... they have never had the freedom of crystal clear water, the choice of hot or cold water, mug or jet... no they would never understand.
He who has never tasted freedom can never defend it.

No. I cannot run or escape. I must face my worst fears.
It is time.

Time ... TO WIPE !!!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

I come to mock caesar,not to praise him..!!!

Valfi season in IIT again....
for the uninitiated valfi is iitian for Valedictory Function....where we celebrate the graduation (or what should have been their ideal graduation time) of a few painu seniors and wish them the senti farewell they feel they deserve....
Honestly I dont know of any other custom that is more meaningful and profound yet as fun and lukha as this one....
I mean the endsems are like a week away and we are dwelling on prehistoric exploits of person after person for nights on end....the 4th years apparently have no interest in their last exam in iit but seemingly a lot of sophies n thirdies dont mind the endsems either...

But the valfies are more than just a party,more than just food and drink,most than even teary farewells sometimes....
For a lot of btechs their graduation is their confessional....minus the religious apparatus.you are surrounded by all those people who have been like your family for the past 3 or 4 years and a lot of acquaintances and many you have never known in your life....and yet there it is...your life,your interests,your quirks,your peeves,your despogiri everything deconstructed and documented by your closest few.... and save for a few spoilsports,in the end its all a big laugh.If you have to part i couldnt have thought of a better parting thought,than to make someone lay themselves bare and make them feel good about it.In fact just the act of letting your true feelings be known to an anonymous crowd is such a incredibly powerful experience.

Im still only a sophie....but I think....that a valfi can leave you happy to be alive, and glad to be you.Glad that even the stupidest little things you did made a lot of people laugh today....and that you will be remembered....

Dumb thing to say but i await my valfi with rabid anticipation....I only hope i make a lot of people happy....and/or some people very very happy.... :)

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Gotta love Hangovers...???

Whoa ...!!!!!!

Head's spinning.....out of control.....

Time travel....reverse schizophrenia.....confused psychic.....incessant telepathy.....

An overwhelming sense of deja-vu.....
feels like a dream.....

"Ever had that feeling when you are not sure whether you are wake or still dreaming..."

Last when i was sane i remember when we went for this dinner treat.....moodi celebration.
I think something happened there.... I've been drunk ever since.

High on food....High on drink....
High on friends....High on rest of the bastards....
High on winning....Higher on defeat....
High on life....

I think i had too much to eat and it choked my stomach region and excess blood filled my head up..... I am literally on top of the world.....
California rest in peace.....
Sweet child in time.....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

I am invincible....
Break the world down....Fuck the system....
I am the leader of the new age alliance of the drunk disgruntled assholes who will stop at nothing to take back what they have been denied for so long....that which is rightfully theirs....that which is rightfully every one's.....

Freedom......

Freedom from misguided judgements and labels decreed by no-good supposedly wiser dunces too blind to realize they are themselves knee deep in their own smug shit....

Freedom from the necessity of choosing the purpose of our lives from the same one-size-fits-all junkyard as a billion other people....counsellors counselling conformity , teachers enforcing uniformity , society condemning the unique and the special......
An entire species trying desperately to evolve into a superhuman while they are conscious......
then dismembering every shred of existence of every prodigy born with a ruthlessness possible only in a collective unconscious......mass insomnia......
Survival of the mediocre majority.....
Long live the corrupt and the incompetent.....
The meek and the cunning shall inherit the earth....the strong and wise shall die fighting for it!!!

Freedom to be able to rant off any idiotic crap on arbitrary media that would poison minds and promote anti social tendencies,to tell the world bout one's warped analysis of their lives,millennial neurotic lives.....that is if anyone was interested in reading the meaningless worthless shit......

Freedom to....???

WAIT!!!!!!
I Already Have That.....Don't I???
Oh Yeah...!!!! Alright!!!!

Nice.....I'm sobering up.... :)
Note to myself - Don't eat so much even if its for free....
Gotta go crap now......Ciao!!!!

Monday, October 16, 2006

How to foul up your mood at a Bookstore?

And if you should fail,Then try and try again.
and again...and again...and again...and again.

what do i want?where do i wanna get to?
what am i striving for?what is my aim in life?

What are my GOALS?

Mindless self-help books churned out by self-prophecised pundits feeding on a mass pasture of millenial neurotic lives frustrated by the stagnation of their achievement on one hand,and having to live with the complete humiliation of having to ignore their dreams by the day and hiding from reality by the night,on the other.

Achievement,Success.....i'm not sure what they mean....

Who moved my CHEESE....?

I moved your Cheese...!

Follow your Dreams...!

How to be succesful at your job!

How to be successful in ur relationships....!

How to maintain ur dream car!

How to buy ur dream home!

How to write a bestselling novel....

HOW TO WRITE A SELF-HELP BOOK....????

Saw too many of them last time i went to crossword.that last book is real.

A remarkable thing ..... is Capitalism.Profit...somehow....anyhow....including selling books that teach people how to profit.
Remarkable.

The true beauty of capitalism lies in one thing.its true genius...the reason of its survival and near consummate victory over all other economic foundations.
Capitalism.....does not placate anyone.it doesnt make promises.it doesnt reassure anyone.
and thats what people truly need.

Give them food they'l ask for clothes.
Give them clothes they'l ask for shelter.
Give them shelter they'l want ask central heating,a watchman,a dog,a beautiful wife,two kids and a holiday home.

u can never hope to satisfy them.coz all this is what they want,not what they need.
thats why capitalism rules......
coz it gives the people exactly what they need.
the people need......
to be told to stand up n fight for their grub.....or shut their pie holes and cry and wait for their pathetic lives to give them a freakin BREAK!!!!!!!!!

hmmm......i'l take that.....
human nature....the most unreasonable saddening,destructive,hopeless entity in existence.
and the most prolific one....sad but true.

as they say...TO ERR IS HUMAN.